Diary of a bollywood journalist.

By Fuad Omar.

What's it like being a Bollywood journalist? This is one of the many questions I get asked wherever I go. The answer is simply - it's not as glamourous as people think. Yes it's great fun and you get to see how hard the stars are working despite how easy it all looks on screen, and what's it like on the sets. Well, this week I delve into my diaries and give you some on-set reports to give you a glimpse...

On the sets of Shafaq

I'm at a cosy bungalow in Bandra. There's tea, dodgy biscuits and I sit next to a very beautiful lady who's currently hotting the charts with her dance numbers in Aks. Nope, I'm not at the home of a Bollywood Queen or chilling with a pal, but am on the sets of Anish Tuli's Shafaq.

Shafaq as Anish explains means dusk. It's a bilingual (Hindi -Tamil) film that stars South superstar Mamooty with Raveena Tandon and Rinke Khanna. Raveena has to leave early to catch a flight to Delhi to receive her National Award and so is doing all she can, as fast as she can. She's doing pretty well and only has a couple of scenes left before she can board her flight. The new director is Bappaditya Roy and is chilled enough to let her go after one shot. After all this is Ravs and she's pretty much perfected the takes. A relieved Raveena rushes to her Land Cruiser. Hero Mamooty is deep in concentration visualising the next shot. Anish who has produced Dil Pe Mat Le Yaar with Manoj Bajpai in the past explains that apart from Mamooty no one can do this role. "Who better than Mamooty?" he says before going on to talk about his film.
"Shafaq is a story of a criminal lawyer. Raveena plays his emotionally distraught wife while Rinke is her distant cousin. This is director Bappaditya's first film. I loved the script when he first came and narrated it. I knew I had to produce this film. Then we signed Mamooty and everything fell into place."

Just at that point I spot Mamooty trying to put on a fake beard and think 'hmmmmm'. It's quite a sight. Raveena has said her goodbyes and tells me she'll catch up with me later and leaves. Rinke Khanna starts her rehearsal for the next shot. The petite nymphet looks sweet in an ethnic tangerine churidar kurta. Her designer Ashley Rebello drops in with her jewellery and Rinke gets into a serious discussion about her costumes with him. After the discussion is over, she tells me:
"I have a very interesting role in the film. In the first half I play a young girl and in the second half I'm a mother. It's the first time I'm doing something like this. Working with a veteran like Mamooty is an honour. But rehearsing Tamil lines is just something else!" she says rolling her eyes.
"Yesterday, I rattled off half a page of Tamil dialogues I couldn't understand. It was quite a sight!" At this point an assistant comes to her with another page of Tamil dialogues and we smile at each other. "We shoot the scene in Hindi as well as Tamil," she informs me with a rueful look. Not being able to understand the language myself I get out of there before she starts.

On the Sets of Awara Paagal Deewana

Sunil Shetty sits moving his hands, talking to some producers who have surrounded him. Hotshot Akshay Kumar is entertaining biwi Twinkle Khanna and the two look cute 'n' cosy as usual. Single and ever ready to mingle Aftab Shivdasani is smiling at Amrita Arora, Preeti Jhangiani and newcomer Aarti. This guy just wants to enjoy the shoot and go home. This of course and chat to some of the white girls who are walking around also getting ready for the shot.

If there's one thing I can congratulate director Vikram Bhatt on, it's the title of his film. It suits his three heroes to the hilt: Awara Paagal Deewana.

We're at the Regent Hotel where the set of the film is made to be something of a funfair. Everybody's chilled and laughing and having a blast. Vikram whispers something into his mobile while producer Feroz Nadiadwala looks suave as ever in a formal attire. Someone on the set tells me: "Feroz is the only producer who looks like he's stepped off a limo compared to the other paan-chewing lot who resemble truck drivers". Yipes, I think and hope he's not including me in that category.

Everyone on the sets is starting to gather around Sunil and want to know about his 'terrorist' episode in the US. "They wrote I was beaten up and all. What nonsense!" he tells me in his usual cool manner. "Nothing of that sort happened, there was no fight. I guess it was my stubble and my physique that scared them," he jokes, proudly showing off his newly toned biceps. While Sunil lifts his arms, Akshay Kumar is also busy showing something off: his sideburns. Proud biwi Twinkle is all smiles and I wonder what the hell is going on in this mad place. Buddy Rahul Dev walks in and is a refreshing return to normalcy. So I make my way towards him but Akshay corners him first and gets into a discussion on fitness, so I walk away grudgingly. Amrita Arora, Preeti Jhangiani and newcomer Aarti are all chatting away to the nines, as Aftab seeps into one of the corners. The girls are here for a press session on the sets where journos come take pics, ask Qs and basically do their stuff. Problem is, it seems to be running on desi time and looks like it has no intention of starting.

"They're waiting for the 'star' to arrive," an onlooker tells me. One of the assistants at this stage takes the mic. and bellows: "Arrey, koi Anu Malik ko bulao! Why is he making us wait?" An embarrassed Anu walks in at that point and I wouldn't want to be him at this point in time. Akshay and Sunil get ready for their shot and Johnny Lever joins them. 'Action!' screams Vikram and Akshay starts dancing to a funky tune with the white girls dressed in red. The Regent is now the Ritz and a flashing neon sign tells us this, in case you didn't know. Sunil and Johny Lever walk towards Akshay with a look of laughter on their face. I can't help laugh myself as it all looks quite funny, plus one of the dancers is almost giggling herself. Immediately after the shot Akshay dashes off to his room to be stopped by Feroz as all stars are required on the set for an unannounced singing session. I search for earplugs but apparently they sold out ages ago. Pop singer Hisham Abbas who turned up with Anu starts singing something in Arabic. Anu bobs his head and moves his body in scary ways and a child starts crying. Girls look the other way and I have the same feeling I felt when I first saw the Exorcist. Poor Akshay, Sunil, Aftab and Rahul have to grin and bear it. As soon as the singing stops, Sunil literally jumps off the stage to escape. Aftab and Rahul quickly do the same. Akshay stays and starts singing along and I make my way to a lunch break with one of the dancers. Show's over folks, there's nothing more to see here!

On the sets of Na Tum Jaano Na Hum

Filmalaya studios is like a bee's nest buzzing with energy. High on Lucozade and armed with autograph books and cameras are a crowd of teeny boppers who' ve come to see their fave hero. The superstar is nowhere to be seen but his fans wait patiently, excited. I'm on the sets of Arjun Sablok's Na Tum Jaano Na Hum starring Hrithik Roshan, Esha Deol and Saif Ali Khan. "Where's Hrithik?" a girl in a blue tee shirt and shiny navy jeans asks her friend, "I am Hrithik," I tell her before she pushes me with what could be an assault charge. Slightly battered at the ego, I decide not to reveal where Hrithik is: in his van giving an interview.
An assistant announces that the shot's ready and the girls scream knowing what that means. Responding to their screams, Hrithik steps out of his trailer, wearing a striped body hugging tee and jeans. He's all smiles after he sees his fan club and gives the same old embarrassed, yet happy look. The girls go mad. Another van door opens and out steps Saif Ali Khan, dressed in a red tee and jeans that look like they were made in tie 'n' dye class in school. The young dude has been working out recently and it shows as he flexes his biceps a little causing some of the girls to go "oooooh!" Hrithik smiles as they coo and so they scream some more. Saif likes the attention and so smiles, and soon it turns into girls screaming one minute for Hrithik and the other for Saif until the director Arjun Sablok has had enough. He tells the two to get it together and get ready for the shot. The comedy scene is set in a school with kids holding blue balloons that are just asking to be popped. The kids are screaming inside, the girls outside. My ears start hurting and I wonder how the two actors are going to get anything done.

Taking my words as a challenge they swing into action as soon as Arjun shouts 'Action'. Saif and Hrithik exchange some funny lines and the shot is okayed in a single take. Esha's not here today which is a shame because she's a riot a minute, but somehow we end up talking about her anyway.

"Don't you think it's brave of me to sign a film with Hrithik?" asks Saif. "It's good working with him, we complement each other."

Hrithik's far too busy trying to deal with screaming girls to even notice what Saif says. As the girls close in, I fade out and take the next rickshaw out of this place. Hrithik smiles a look that says 'Wish I was you', and the drone of screams slowly dissolves as I speed away.